By Patricia Lightner
Parkinson's disease is sometimes referred to as a "designer disease"—it affects everyone differently. What bothers me, may or may not bother you.
This is the time of year of peace on earth and good will to men (except in shopping center parking lots, and unfortunately on our roads and highways), and a time of crowds.
I do not do well in crowds. I try to avoid them by, for example, going grocery shopping on weekdays. I try to go out in public when I am "on", when my medicine is working well and I am free as much as possible from dyskinesia, tremors, or freezing up. When my medicine is working I have momentum, and I walk at a rather brisk pace. Everything is going fine until I find myself behind someone who suddenly stops or slows down. My momentum is out the window. My brain is used to a certain pace. My Parkinson's brain is not as quick as it once was, and I cannot immediately and effortlessly adjust to a change in my walking pace as I had done in the past. Crowds can also be difficult for me because when I am "on" I am really "on," and I can be a tad like one of my favorite classic cartoon characters, the Road Runner. I don't mean to mow anyone down, but sometimes I think to myself, "Beep beep! Get out of my way!" It means I say a lot "Please and thank yous," and even more "I'm sorry," and "Excuse mes."
It's bad enough not being able to go with the flow as far or quickly match the pace of a crowd. Trying to do so in small spaces is even worse. The compartments in revolving doors are small. They are only big enough for one person. But for me that is not even big enough. Parkinson's disease is a physical malady, but I have found for me it is a visual malady too. Even though I know I should not think this way, I sometimes panic when I see a small space.
That is what happened when I found myself going through a revolving door. Here I was in this small space, this compartment, and I just about froze up. I found out rather quickly and forcefully that revolving doors wait for no one. I was unceremoniously tossed onto the sidewalk. However, I did not fall; and, I remained standing on my own two feet.
If you are ever looking for me, don't look in a crowd or by a revolving door. Most likely I will be headed in the other direction.
