The love children offer is so tender, innocent and pure. Although Parkinson was causing me great distress, I had learned to convert the feeling of defeat to a fuel, and it helped me grow stronger. I knew that being divorced and raising three children while living with a chronic illness was a daily challenge I had to face.
As I had more downs than ups, more offs than on, my children were always at my side. The only image they had of me was shaking (tremors), kicking (restless legs), and moving uncontrollably (dyskenesia). These symptoms are typical of Parkinson disease. All throughout their young life they grew up seeing me ill. To them it was normal to sweat, fall, roll, and even drool as much as I used to.
I recall my two little girls standing on either side of me, helping me walk by holding me with their little hands. As they initiated the first steps, we sang the lyrics, "We're off to see the Wizard," from the movie The Wizard of Oz. Hearing them sing in harmony would help me coordinate my steps and off we went around the block.
As they grew older my girls began to notice I was different because their teachers, friends' mothers, and the neighbors did not move as much as I did. Regardless, they respected, treated, and loved me the way I was and I am grateful to them for their unconditional love.
My children have grown. My eldest daughter, Gisselle (25) is now happily married. She has made me a grandmother of a tender little boy, Justin. Tiffany and Vanessa are both teenagers. For some reason, they seem to be struggling a little more. They are no longer sweet and huggable like they were when they were younger. They blame all their frustration on PMS, and they seem to be bitter at the world. I believe they are possessed. My supportive mother Clara, tells me that their behavior is typical of any teenager, but I am still looking for an exorcist.
It has been more than two years since I had the Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital, overseen by Dr. Annette Nieves. Since then, I have regained my speech, mobility, and walking. I am now able to ride my bike and dance when I hear music. I can see the ocean, walk barefooted on the sand, and chase my teenagers around when necessary.
My children are getting to know me without Parkinson's symptoms. They are double impressed by my new hobby: painting. When they invite their friends over, they show my paintings and with an elated voice they tell them, "My mother is an artist." I have regained my dignity.
I have to thank my mother for the ethics she instilled in me. I also thank my beautiful sister, Evelyn, who took her time to entertain me when I needed to be distracted. To my brothers, Carlos and Walter, for their love and support. Many thanks to my children, Tiffany and Vanessa, for helping me endure my 15-year battle with Parkinson's disease with smiles, tears, happiness, hardship and love. I have to thank God, the Almighty, for hearing my prayers and giving me back a life.
My duty now is to help raise funds and awareness so that one day a cure for Parkinson is found. To know there will be an end to this horrible illness, and to help people come out of darkness and see the daylight are my main struggle.
Elena Tuero shares her insights with us from her home in New Jersey. Some other Web logs that she has authored include:
